Photo by Eve Maier
I was enslaved to perfectionism for as long as I could remember. I wanted my body to be perfect, I wanted my room / apartment / home to be perfect (and if i’m honest, I still do!), I wanted my ballet to be perfect, my paintings, my cooking… you get the idea.
Perfectionism within cooking was especially paralyzing because I wanted restaurant quality food but I didn't know how. And because I didn't know how, most days I felt it like it wasn't even worth trying.
Then one day, a verse set me free in the most unlikely of places.
Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox.
Proverbs 14:4
I was working as an administrative assistant at the time, processing time sheets and expense reports. And I realized that the engineer’s time on the job was worth a lot of money to the company. But then I would submit their paperwork to accounting and the accountants would send it back asking for this or that to be fixed or filled out or such and so missing receipt to be found.
The engineers were the oxen bringing in the harvest and that process was inherently messy. Meanwhile, the accountants were trying to keep the stable clean and their frustration was understandable.
Then I looked at my own life and saw this same process everywhere.
Before this, I hated baking, specifically because I couldn't scrap every bit of dough out of the bowl and then the flour would get everywhere and sometimes the baking would burn bits of dough near the edge. I was frustrated by the work and ungrateful for the harvest.
And so I learned to release perfection.
I now clear my counter top so I can easily wipe up the extra flour and I ready my microfiber cleaning clothes so I can clean up after myself with confidence.
I no longer worry about the bits of dough in the bowl, or the irregularities of the edges.
“It’s the cost of doing business,” I tell myself.
When burned bits come out of the oven, I soak the pan in water with baking soda to prepare it for scrubbing.
And now when I am overwhelmed by a project, I embrace the messiness and I remind myself that the harvest will be worth it.
I have been wanting to make cinnamon rolls for the longest time, but have felt too intimidated by the whole process. Recently, I found this recipe for cinnamon pull apart bread which is the same idea only much easier to put together. I made it for our anniversary this year and it was delicious!
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